Heartbeats and throwing up

That's right I said HEARTBEATS! Plural. As in two, dos.

Craziness! We are floored! Thrilled and terrified at the same time.

The ultra sound went great. As soon as she got in there I could see the 2 sac's. Both had yolks, fetal poles, and heartbeats. Baby A's heartbeat was 112 and Baby B's heartbeat was 109.

This picture shows both sac's. You can see Baby A in the right sac, Baby B is hiding in the second.

We are a bit stressed about the whole idea, but thrilled.

I have been feeling very tired and having waves of sickness. Its nothing to terrible and actually makes me feel better about the babies. I am praying for a healthy pregnancy and life for both of them.

Waiting

Well all of the hype is basically over regarding the positive test. Not that we aren't still excited, we are, its just that we are really in another wait. A wait for our 1st Ultra Sound which is scheduled for Monday the 21st. Basically this is another 2 week wait filled with second guesses, long days, and super sleepy nights.

Our families were shocked, excited, thrilled. We had SO much fun telling them. I wish we could do it all over again!

I have been tired, very tired, which I was last time as well. I could seriously take a nap each day and could go to bed each day at 8:00 if I were able. Which I am not able to do either. Yesterday I had my first bout with morning sickness, in the afternoon. I have always been told that morning sickness proves a healthy baby so I was happy.

We are looking forward to the 21st. I am looking forward to the reassurance it will provide me with. I am continually feeling like this is to good to be true. That there is no way this could have worked the 1st time. I feel like the Ultra Sound on Monday will help me stop checking for my period each time I go to the bathroom (although honestly, I doubt it will, I will be nervous about the pregnancy for some time).

Not only will the Ultra Sound offer some reassurance as to what is going on inside me, it will also let us know if we have 1 or 2 babies in there. Our 1st time around I really wanted twins, this time it terrifies me, but the idea is growing on me all the time. It would be a lot, but it would be fun. I guess we shall see what Monday brings.

BFP BFP BFP!

The 2 week wait is over! Whew, and ended in good news!

My first beta was Saturday and resulted in a positive with a 156. That is a great number and Suzie (my doctor's nurse) said that it is borderline multiples (oh my word!). We were thrilled. Of course I knew it would be a positive because I had been taking home pregnancy tests since Wednesday, well Monday, if you count the one I took at my husband's insistence and told me that the Trigger shot of the HCG hormone were out of me. I got a very (when I say very I mean barely there) light positive on Wednesday morning. Thursday it was darker and Friday even darker. It was fun watching the lines change each day.

My second beta was today. The number jumped to 514. I feel good about this. I looked back and Doodle's first number was an 85. I don't remember the second, but not 514 (I will have to look again). My 1st Ultra Sound is on the 21st. We cant wait!

As for telling our family, we are going to do so tonight. We had all these great plans of telling them via t-shirt, ect. but honestly we are entirely to excited and don't want to wait the 2 or 3 weeks it will take to get to everyone in person. Maybe I will just send them here. All the information has been right here under their noses the whole time.

The dreaded 2 week wait

Want to make a grown woman go crazy?

Transfer a fertilized embryo into her uterus and then make her wait and wonder if it implanted.

I am in the midst of the 2 week wait or 2ww as it is called to TTCer's around the globe. Oy, it is driving me bonkers. Not only me, but my husband as well. We transferred a mere 4 days ago and he is already asking if we can take a home pregnancy test. I'm refusing. For several reasons. First and foremost part of the IVF protocol is a "trigger shot" which is the pregnancy hormone detected in home pregnancy tests. This shot takes, oh, 10 or 14 days to get out of your system and could give false hope should I test now. I triggered last Friday at 11 pm so there is no way it is out of my system.

2WW is filled with dreams of twins, checking your breasts in the mirror daily to see if they have more blue veins or squeezing them to see if they are more tender, being incredibly mindful of any "twinges" that could possibly be implantation, checking the toilet paper each time you go to the bathroom for implantation spotting, and, in my case, progesterone in oil shots. BLEG.

These shots are exactly what they say, progesterone in sesame oil. They are thick, they are nasty, and last time by the end of them I had several lumps on my bottom marking their injection sights. They are given by my sweet husband nightly at 9:00 pm. Then we massage the area, hoping that they will not lump. Again, means to an end, correct?

This is a posting I found on a infertility discussion board a few years ago. It hangs on my fridge. I find it so empowering for woman who are dealing with infertility.

"There are women that become mothers without effort without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.


I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.


Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.


I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.


I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.


Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.


I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.


I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.


I have prevailed, I have succeeded. I have won.


So now, when other hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself from discomfort. I see it, morn it, and join them in theirs.


I listen.


And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine and when life is beyond hard, I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.


I have learned to appreciate life. Yes, I will be a wonderful mother. "

~Author Unknown

Bed resting

Transfer went well yesterday. We were able to transfer 2 "absolutely beautiful" embryo's according to Dr. Maude. I am now on bed rest. Oy. I ended up coming home from work early on Tuesday because I was sore from the Egg Retrieval. Not near as sore as last time, but still sore. I think that the novelty of sitting at home is gone, I am a busy body and going crazy at this point. We should hear tomorrow how many of the remaining Embryo's will be able to be frozen.

An advantage to doing IVF is that you get pictures of your little embryo's, something that most parents to do have the luck of having. Here are the sweet little guys I am hoping will stick in my belly:

Sweet Little Embie 1

 

Sweet Little Embie 2

Another fun little item. My girl Ci-Ci has been creatively coming up with ideas for us to help tell our friends and family that tie in to the Casino theme suggested by my http://www.babycenter.com/ girls. Yesterday I got an email stating "I'm not excited" with the following inside:

The front will say I've hit the Jackpot rather than the Lottery.. I think she did a pretty awesome job! Love ya Ci!

Lucky number 12

Yesterday our Doctor's office called and said that out of the 21 eggs they got 11 were mature enough to fertilize and 10 completed the process. Today they called and said that 2 more matured and fertilized which is great. I feel pretty confident. They ran us through the process and said Dr. Maude would call in the morning to give a full report and discuss how many to transfer. Everything is real. I have been sharing with a board on http://www.babycenter.com/ about the process and they have suggested we use a casino theme when we tell our family. I think its a great idea. Now to just figure out how..