Want to make a grown woman go crazy?
Transfer a fertilized embryo into her uterus and then make her wait and wonder if it implanted.
I am in the midst of the 2 week wait or 2ww as it is called to TTCer's around the globe. Oy, it is driving me bonkers. Not only me, but my husband as well. We transferred a mere 4 days ago and he is already asking if we can take a home pregnancy test. I'm refusing. For several reasons. First and foremost part of the IVF protocol is a "trigger shot" which is the pregnancy hormone detected in home pregnancy tests. This shot takes, oh, 10 or 14 days to get out of your system and could give false hope should I test now. I triggered last Friday at 11 pm so there is no way it is out of my system.
2WW is filled with dreams of twins, checking your breasts in the mirror daily to see if they have more blue veins or squeezing them to see if they are more tender, being incredibly mindful of any "twinges" that could possibly be implantation, checking the toilet paper each time you go to the bathroom for implantation spotting, and, in my case, progesterone in oil shots. BLEG.
These shots are exactly what they say, progesterone in sesame oil. They are thick, they are nasty, and last time by the end of them I had several lumps on my bottom marking their injection sights. They are given by my sweet husband nightly at 9:00 pm. Then we massage the area, hoping that they will not lump. Again, means to an end, correct?
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
This is a posting I found on a infertility discussion board a few years ago. It hangs on my fridge. I find it so empowering for woman who are dealing with infertility.
"There are women that become mothers without effort without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed, I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when other hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself from discomfort. I see it, morn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine and when life is beyond hard, I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life. Yes, I will be a wonderful mother. "
~Author Unknown
"There are women that become mothers without effort without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed, I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when other hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself from discomfort. I see it, morn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine and when life is beyond hard, I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life. Yes, I will be a wonderful mother. "
~Author Unknown
Bed resting
Transfer went well yesterday. We were able to transfer 2 "absolutely beautiful" embryo's according to Dr. Maude. I am now on bed rest. Oy. I ended up coming home from work early on Tuesday because I was sore from the Egg Retrieval. Not near as sore as last time, but still sore. I think that the novelty of sitting at home is gone, I am a busy body and going crazy at this point. We should hear tomorrow how many of the remaining Embryo's will be able to be frozen.
Another fun little item. My girl Ci-Ci has been creatively coming up with ideas for us to help tell our friends and family that tie in to the Casino theme suggested by my http://www.babycenter.com/ girls. Yesterday I got an email stating "I'm not excited" with the following inside:
An advantage to doing IVF is that you get pictures of your little embryo's, something that most parents to do have the luck of having. Here are the sweet little guys I am hoping will stick in my belly:
Sweet Little Embie 1
Sweet Little Embie 2
Another fun little item. My girl Ci-Ci has been creatively coming up with ideas for us to help tell our friends and family that tie in to the Casino theme suggested by my http://www.babycenter.com/ girls. Yesterday I got an email stating "I'm not excited" with the following inside:
The front will say I've hit the Jackpot rather than the Lottery.. I think she did a pretty awesome job! Love ya Ci!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Lucky number 12
Yesterday our Doctor's office called and said that out of the 21 eggs they got 11 were mature enough to fertilize and 10 completed the process. Today they called and said that 2 more matured and fertilized which is great. I feel pretty confident. They ran us through the process and said Dr. Maude would call in the morning to give a full report and discuss how many to transfer. Everything is real. I have been sharing with a board on http://www.babycenter.com/ about the process and they have suggested we use a casino theme when we tell our family. I think its a great idea. Now to just figure out how..
Sunday, January 23, 2011
A basket full of eggs
Wow! Stims have gone fast! We did ganerelix on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Friday we triggered. The ball is really rolling now. Egg Retrieval was on Sunday, today. Its so weird going under. One minute you are BSing with Dr. Maude and the next.. Your awake with a bad taste in your mouth. So far I am feeling pretty good. It was a crazy week getting here.
Our son's 2nd birthday was Thursday, the same day I had an Ultra Sound and Blood work at our local clinic. Shortly after this our RE's office in Omaha saying that the local clinic had called them and told them their Estrodol machine was broken and they were concerned about the measurements from my Ultra Sound of my lining. So they wanted us to drive up to Omaha and be at their office between 7 and 9 to have the RE redo the Ultra Sound and do the Blood work. So off to Omaha for the night we went, with a short stop at Applebee's to celebrate our son's birthday.
Turns out the trip was worth it, my lining was quite a bit thicker. I was told I have to take a baby aspirin each day and Retrieval would be Sunday. Now that in and of its self was a journey.
We have only told 3 people that we are in this process, my boss, my husbands boss, and a close friend for babysitting purposes. Well we had our son's 2nd birthday party on Saturday and had previously asked my mother to babysit so that we could take our friend out for her birthday. Turns out we are needing to head to Omaha on Saturday so I have to think fast of a good excuse as to why we need to be gone overnight. We ended up telling my mother that we were going to go to Council Bluffs to the Casino for this friends birthday and would be staying the night. She agreed to watch our son, but was worried about the weather for our driving. Later during the party the whole family found out we were going "gambling", needless to say several family members were quite shocked and probably less than impressed. It turned into an awkward conversation and my white lie was getting bigger.
We ended up driving to Omaha in a winter storm warning (I swear my family is going to have an intervention) and a drive that usually takes just about 2 hours ended up taking over 3. Ugh. At least we had a nice meal in the end of it :)
Retrieval was easy. As I said before, awake one minute, out the next.. They were able to retrieve 21 eggs, which made me a little happier. Obviously I do not need that many, but I want to make sure we have several frozen in case we have to go to a Frozen Embryo Transfer as we did with Doodle. We wait a few days and Wednesday we transfer. Tomorrow I will know how many were fertilized.
Our son's 2nd birthday was Thursday, the same day I had an Ultra Sound and Blood work at our local clinic. Shortly after this our RE's office in Omaha saying that the local clinic had called them and told them their Estrodol machine was broken and they were concerned about the measurements from my Ultra Sound of my lining. So they wanted us to drive up to Omaha and be at their office between 7 and 9 to have the RE redo the Ultra Sound and do the Blood work. So off to Omaha for the night we went, with a short stop at Applebee's to celebrate our son's birthday.
Turns out the trip was worth it, my lining was quite a bit thicker. I was told I have to take a baby aspirin each day and Retrieval would be Sunday. Now that in and of its self was a journey.
We have only told 3 people that we are in this process, my boss, my husbands boss, and a close friend for babysitting purposes. Well we had our son's 2nd birthday party on Saturday and had previously asked my mother to babysit so that we could take our friend out for her birthday. Turns out we are needing to head to Omaha on Saturday so I have to think fast of a good excuse as to why we need to be gone overnight. We ended up telling my mother that we were going to go to Council Bluffs to the Casino for this friends birthday and would be staying the night. She agreed to watch our son, but was worried about the weather for our driving. Later during the party the whole family found out we were going "gambling", needless to say several family members were quite shocked and probably less than impressed. It turned into an awkward conversation and my white lie was getting bigger.
We ended up driving to Omaha in a winter storm warning (I swear my family is going to have an intervention) and a drive that usually takes just about 2 hours ended up taking over 3. Ugh. At least we had a nice meal in the end of it :)
Retrieval was easy. As I said before, awake one minute, out the next.. They were able to retrieve 21 eggs, which made me a little happier. Obviously I do not need that many, but I want to make sure we have several frozen in case we have to go to a Frozen Embryo Transfer as we did with Doodle. We wait a few days and Wednesday we transfer. Tomorrow I will know how many were fertilized.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Stick, Shoot, OUCH!
We started stims this week. I am on 3 powders of HMG in 1 cc of diluent each morning and night. Ugh! Last time I think I only had to do shots of stims 1 time per day. My bottom is already bruising, but Oh well, means to an end, right?
My 1st ultrasound showed 7 follicles on each ovary, which I was a little disappointed with because last time I had SO many. Oh well. It was only a few days into stims. I have been having headaches in the mornings sometimes when I wake up, but otherwise so far, the side effects haven't been to terrible.
My 1st ultrasound showed 7 follicles on each ovary, which I was a little disappointed with because last time I had SO many. Oh well. It was only a few days into stims. I have been having headaches in the mornings sometimes when I wake up, but otherwise so far, the side effects haven't been to terrible.
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